Can there be any help for me? what is wrong with me?

If I could reach through the internet and give you a hug, I would. I am so sorry for the trials that you have had to face in your life, and from such a young age. Like you, I am in my 30's and have had my own struggles in life. I can tell you from experience that there are two things that will help to heal you. It sounds cheesy, but the 1st is God. And 2nd, is service. I found that the only thing that distracted me from my pain was helping others around me. It can be simple like buying a burger for the homeless guy on the corner... or telling someone they are beautiful. This really helped me to heal. Also, when I am feeling down, I like to watch the I Am A Mormon videos online. They are inspiring.